Previously, we have already identified certain events where worry acts as a warning. For example, where a child is late home and a parent starts to worry. In this case worry acts as an early warning system.
In fact, to worry is an emotion which distinguishes us from other animals. So we can deduct from this that we would not be human if we did not worry at all. But we all need to rationalize worry.
To do this we need to look at the different reasons why we worry to excess. Quite often it is because the subject we worry about is a problem in itself. For instance, if we worry excessively about money it could mean we are obsessed with material things, or we would struggle with the “shame” of being poor. We have to send our children into private education, or we need to buy a new pair of shoes every time we go shopping!!!
Another example is individual phobias. These can lead to extreme worry, anxiety, stress and bad health and should be treated with professional help.
Most of us, through experience, know that overcoming worry is essential as, not only can it be a drain on our energy levels, but it can also affect our health and can lead to many a sleepless night.
So, how does overcoming worry by rationalization work? Where do we start?
First we have to establish exactly what we are worried about. This has to be an honest analysis of the fears that cause us to worry. Fear is a good test of our true worry. The fear of something is usually the thing we worry about.
Next we look at possible results starting with our worries coming to nothing or, leading to the worst possible outcome you could imagine. You then need to follow through on that worst possible outcome to what it really means to your everyday life.
This exercise alone is often enough to rationalize your worries by realising the worst outcome imaginable is not the end of the world!
It will also highlight areas that can be influenced and as such, reduce your worry. For example, it’s your wedding day tomorrow and, quite naturally, you’re worried that things may go wrong. How can you rationalize your fears?
So, what could you possibly worry about the night before your wedding!! I will not list everything here as the list for each individual could be quite long. So let’s pick a typical one for a groom. His speech.
Firstly, remember, it is your day. If you do make a mess of your speech who cares? OK, you don’t want to upset the in-laws within the first five minutes so keep it simple. Leave out the risky jokes and just thank people. If it’s your in-laws you are worried about, talk to them first. Get their approval on what you are going to say.
The overall advice is to plan. Plan to avoid the unthinkable. Plan to ensure you get a good night sleep.
I have a bad memory and often worry might forget to do something important. To overcome this I am always making lists to remind myself to do things. This is tremendous in overcoming lots of different worries to ensure a good night’s sleep. Before going to bed write down helpful hints to assist you the following day with any event or activity that is likely to keep you awake.
All these steps are a continual rationalization of any worries you may have. Not designed to eradicate but to ease.
With yet another tip in overcoming worry, goodnight, and have a peaceful sleep.